I must need my head examined. My demented moms is being fitted with hearing aids next week and I will give them, oh six hours or so max before they disappear into the black hole of memory loss and confusion. In the spirit of trying to ease my mother's burden of being both demented and deaf as a dead poet, I'm thinking if she can hear better maybe she would be less confused but maybe no, maybe I'm confused to think it will make any difference to a person who's at odds with everything disagreeable anyway but all I can do is try and in my spare time scream into the void at my dead father for leaving me this fucking mess to clean up. When she asked me how long does she have to live there, where she's currently residing, I couldn't answer without my inflicting gallows humor she wouldn't get so I said nothing, changed the subject lamenting to myself the fact she's become a bipolar, overweight clothes rack without a clue who can't function properly on her own if she doesn't feel sorry for herself enough or have something or someone to hate or at least have an intense, unreasonable dislike for...
...if she could just remember what the fuck it was.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
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